


Forks, Knives, and of course, Chocolate

by noirangetrois



Category: Gundam Wing
Genre: AU, Curses, F/F, M/M, Secret Santa, Supernatural Elements, everyone does magic, humor? hopefully?
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-25
Updated: 2017-12-25
Packaged: 2019-02-20 07:46:35
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,102
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13142193
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/noirangetrois/pseuds/noirangetrois
Summary: Duo makes fun of Wufei for his stuffy eating habits and Wufei gets revenge.





	Forks, Knives, and of course, Chocolate

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Remsyk](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Remsyk/gifts).



> This is a gift for Remsyk for the GW Secret Santa Exchange 2017. Happy Holidays! I hope you like it!

"This is all your fault!" Duo yelled, pointing an accusatory finger at the raven-haired man meditating on the floor.

The accused opened his eyes, arching an eyebrow in response.

"Don't play coy with me, Wufei," Duo shouted. "I **_know_** you're the one who did this to me!"

"Did what, exactly?" Wufei asked.

Duo glared.

"You know **_exactly_** what I mean. Once I figure out how to reverse it, you're going to pay! Mark my words!" Duo fumed, then turned and stomped out of the room, slamming the door behind him.

The Chinese man smirked. Duo was absolutely right - it **_was_** Wufei's fault. Pleased with himself, Wufei centered himself once again and returned to his meditation.

\-----

_Two days earlier_

Quatre and Hilde were throwing a barbecue to celebrate the summer solstice. Well, Hilde was throwing the barbecue, which Quatre had graciously agreed to host at his family's palatial estate. The witch had invited quite a few of her friends and acquaintances - basically anyone she knew who was magically inclined or was aware of and accepted within the rather secretive magical community.

Wufei had just sat down with his hamburger and salad when Duo walked over with his own food and sat down beside him. The braided man reached across the table to grab the ketchup, squirting a generous amount on his hamburger. As he lifted it to his mouth, he suddenly stopped, staring wide-eyed at Wufei, who sat with knife and fork poised over his own burger.

"Wait... are you seriously going to eat that with utensils?"

The raven-haired shaman sniffed, not deigning to reply.

"You are, aren't you? Who does that?!"

"I do," Wufei replied stiffly. "It's beneath my dignity to eat with my hands, Duo."

"But... that defeats the purpose of having a barbecue! It's supposed to be relaxed, casual! Besides, who needs dignity when you're eating a hamburger?" Duo asked, incredulous.

"Certainly not you!" Wufei quipped, scowling, then picked up his plate and walked quickly over to another picnic bench, sitting down with his back to Duo.

"Hey man, I didn't mean it like that! I was just joking!" Duo called after him.

"Trouble in paradise?" Quatre asked, sitting down across from Duo.

"What?" Duo jumped, taken aback. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"No need to be shy, Duo. Clairvoyant, remember? I know you two are seeing each other. But maybe not for much longer," Quatre intoned, leaving the last word hanging.

"Hmph," Duo replied. "I meant it in good fun, he's just too uptight for his own good sometimes. He'll get over it."

"We'll see," Quatre said skeptically.

"Sure he will," Duo insisted, but his shoulders slumped as he looked at the rigid back of the man in question.

"Shit, Quat... he really is upset, isn't he? No way he'll listen to me if I try to apologize now. Was I really that bad?"

Quatre sighed.

"With anyone else, I'd say no. But Wufei can be awfully sensitive about the most unexpected things."

"Yeah..." Duo replied, eyeing his half eaten burger with distaste. Somehow it didn't seem appetizing anymore.

"So much for celebrating the solstice," Duo quipped sullenly.

"Don't be like that, Duo. The whole day is still ahead. And besides! It's your birthday in a few days! I'm sure he'll come around by then. Apologize to him after he's had some time to cool off. It'll be fine," Quatre reassured him.

\-----

Duo had been trying to do just that all afternoon, but everywhere he looked, he couldn't find Wufei. He'd finally concluded that the man had left entirely, making Duo feel even more miserable.

Hilde never did anything by halves, and the barbecue was set to last well into the night. Duo knew he'd hear no end of it if he ditched his best friend's event early, so he resigned himself to participating, whatever his mood. And eventually, he really was starting to enjoy himself again.

The sun was finally setting and they'd lit a huge bonfire on the grounds of the estate, a good walk from the main building. Duo was just returning to the bonfire with a case of beer for the revelers when he saw none other than Wufei talking with Hilde at the edge of the firelight.

The two were huddled together having an intense discussion that he was loathe to interrupt, as much as he wanted to.

"Duo!" Trowa called from the other side of the fire. "The cooler's over here!"

Duo stopped, realizing he'd still been carrying the beer while heading to intercept Wufei.

"Right," he called back, changing direction toward the knot of people waiting for him.

As Duo was transferring the beer into the cooler, Heero reached over and grabbed one out of his hands.

"Thanks," he said, casually popping the lid off with his bare hands, then handing it to Trowa before grabbing one for himself and giving it the same treatment.

"Showoff," Duo muttered.

Heero just shrugged.

"I hear you had it out with Wufei earlier," Trowa commented dryly, taking a long pull of his beer.

"What? Oh, that. Yeah."

Duo turned back from looking at Wufei – who was still speaking with Hilde about who knows what – and blinked at the man in front of him.

"He was eating a hamburger with a knife and fork and got upset when I teased him about it."

"I wasn't expecting you to be teasing him so much anymore," Trowa deadpanned.

"Anymore... anymore? What, does everyone know about us?!" Duo demanded.

"Everyone knows, Duo." This from Heero. "You're not as subtle as you think."

"Well at this rate there might not be anything to know about," Duo groused, then looked up suddenly. It seemed that Wufei and Hilde's discussion had finally come to an end.

Duo put down his beer and got up, ignoring Trowa's taunt – "Go get him, cowboy!" – and walking towards his lover, but the man was already halfway back to the house.

Duo stopped, despondent. Obviously Wufei wanted nothing to do with him. He walked over to Hilde, who had started talking with another friend.

"Hey Hil, you got a minute?"

She looked at him over her shoulder, then turned back to the friend for a moment before turning and facing Duo. The look she gave him was not encouraging.

"What?" she asked, pursing her lips.

"Ahh... just... is Wufei ok? I've been trying to talk to him all afternoon, but..." He trailed off at the look in her eye.

"Duo, sometimes you just don't know when to quit, do you? If he'd wanted to talk to you, he would have. Apparently he doesn't. But he's fine, if you must know," Hilde said.

"What were you two talking about, anyway?" Duo asked.

"Wouldn't you like to know?" Hilde answered impishly, then walked away with a wink.

\-----

Duo woke up the next morning on Quatre's couch, nursing a serious hangover.

"Oy, Q-man, have mercy," he protested as the blonde man opened the blinds.

"If your hangover weren't entirely your own damn fault, Duo dear, maybe I would. Nobody forced you to drink that much."

"Yeah, yeah. But it's not just the hangover. We necromancers are creatures of the night. It's bad enough how short the nights are this time of year, you could at least let a man pretend it's dark out for a little while longer," Duo griped.

Quatre just snorted.

"Breakfast was served to the other guests who stayed over hours ago, but there should still be something left if you want it," he said.

Duo's stomach rebelled at the thought.

"Ah, thanks but no thanks. I'll take some aspirin if you've got it though?" he asked hopefully.

"Of course I do," Quatre replied, giving an exasperated sigh before going to retrieve it.

Only then did Duo remember the events of the previous day.

"Oh, fuck me," he groaned, rubbing his eyes. How was he going to fix this?

\-----

It wasn't until dinner time that Duo started to realize that something was off. 

On account of his birthday being two days after the Solstice, he and a small group of the barbecue's attendees had been invited to stay over at Quatre's estate for the weekend. In addition to Quatre, Hilde, Heero, and Trowa, their friends Catherine, Dorothy, Relena, Zechs, and Noin were also in attendance. Sally had been scheduled for a double at the hospital and wasn't able to make it, and Wufei, valuing his privacy as he did, had opted to stay at his own apartment and return the next day for the party.

At least, that was the original plan. Duo wasn't sure whether the man would be back for his birthday party or not, after yesterday.

While the hamburgers and hot dogs were all gone, there were plenty of ribs and smoked brisket left over from the day before, so the group was enjoying the leftovers in the large dining hall. Duo had gotten a small plate of brisket with some corn on the cob, still uncertain whether his stomach was up to the challenge of real food.

"Everyone knows that witch's magic is more useful than that of sorcerers and sorceresses," Dorothy was saying, a smirk on her face while she looked down the table at Noin.

Noin took the bait.

"As the only woman here who's not a witch, I have to take issue with that. Sure, witch magic is much more useful for healing–"

"Ew!!! Gross!!!" Duo exclaimed, immediately spitting out the first bite of brisket he'd taken. "Quatre, did you even bother to refrigerate this overnight? It's completely spoiled!"

Everyone was silent for a moment, stunned at the outburst.

"Of course I did, Duo," Quatre responded, annoyed. "Do you take me for an idiot?"

"Um, well, of course not. Sorry... but this brisket is way past its expiration date. How can you guys be eating this??"

Quatre blinked.

"Duo, mine tastes fine. Maybe you just got a bad piece?" Quatre suggested.

"No problems here," Relena chimed in, the only other one at the table who'd opted for brisket over ribs.

"First you scare off Wufei, now you're getting unlucky with the leftovers. This just isn't your weekend, Duo," Zechs needled, a glint in his eye.

"Screw you too, Zechs," Duo grumbled, standing to go and dump the brisket in the trash.

"As I was saying," Noin picked up from the earlier discussion, "sorcery may not have as many healing applications as witchcraft, but it's much more useful for–"

"Blech!!! Oh god, that's even worse!"

The discussion ground to a screeching halt, again.

Duo was holding the piece of corn on the cob, doing his level best to spit out not just the corn but every drop of saliva in his mouth.

"Err...." Quatre started, not quite sure how to deal with quite such a disgusting display.

"Wow Duo. Here you were making fun of Wufei, and now you're displaying the worst table manners I've ever seen," Trowa said dryly. "I'll take a knife and fork with a hamburger over regurgitation any day."

Duo just glared at him before getting up to throw that in the trash as well.

"Fine, have it your way. I'll just let everyone finish their meal in peace while I remove my disgusting self from your presence," Duo replied with a sneer before stomping away.

"Wait! Duo–!" Quatre called after him, only to be met with the sound of a distant door slamming.

"That could have gone better, I suppose," Catherine said. "Relena, would you pass the salad dressing?"

\-----

After actually getting a full night's rest, Duo was feeling much better. Chipper, even. Whatever was going on with the food the night before must have been something residual from the hangover. And besides, it was his birthday - his favorite day of the year.

"Morning everyone!" he chirped as he walked into the kitchen.

Trowa looked over from in front of the stove.

"You're feeling better today."

"Sure am! It's my birthday after all. Are those pancakes?" Duo asked excitedly.

"Of course they're pancakes," Trowa replied, flipping a few over. "Everyone knows pancakes are your all-time favorite food."

"All-time favorite **_breakfast_** food, Tro. I love food too much to choose just one," Duo said with a wink.

"Of course you do, Duo. Of course you do," Trowa replied, rolling his eyes and turning back to the stove.

"Happy Birthday, Duo!" Relena told him, joining them from the dining hall, which was just off the kitchen. "Coffee's ready."

"Thanks, Relena, but I don't touch the stuff. Necromancer, remember?"

"Oh, right. Oops," she replied sheepishly.

"No worries, most people forget. I wish it weren't so, believe you me," Duo placated.

Relena brightened.

"So, what are the plans for your big day?" she asked.

"Well, after a long and sumptuous breakfast, I figured we could all relax poolside before doing cake this afternoon," Duo said.

"Cake? You mean after lunch?" she queried.

"Of course not after lunch! Cake is lunch! Believe me, the triple chocolate cake we're going to have is so filling, you won't want anything else on your stomach before you eat it," he said with a wink.

Relena looked uncertain.

"Well, it's your birthday..."

"It sure is! Just wait, Relena, it's going to be **_awesome_**. You'll see!"

"Hey Trowa! Are those pancakes about ready?" Quatre called from the dining hall, then followed his own voice into the kitchen. "Oh hey, Duo. Happy Birthday!"

"Thanks man! I can't believe you guys are–"

"Yes, Quatre, just one batch left to finish. The rest are warming in the oven," Trowa interrupted.

"–making my favorite for breakfast! This is going to be the best birthday ever!" Duo finished exuberantly, not missing a beat.

"Alright, Duo, shoo!" Quatre insisted, shooing the braided man away with his hands. Then he turned to Relena.

"If you'll be so kind as to join the others in the dining hall, Relena? Trowa and I can take care of bringing in the pancakes," he continued.

"Of course," Relena answered, turning in that direction. Duo pulled a face and followed her out.

A chorus of "Happy Birthday" met Duo as he entered the hall. He grinned. The gang was all there, waiting for him.

"Thanks guys!" he said, then sat himself down at the center of the table, eyeing the food spread out family style eagerly. Fruit salad, vanilla yogurt with fresh strawberries and blueberries, fresh squeezed orange juice, and best of all – real maple syrup, imported from Vermont.

Trowa and Quatre came in, setting down several plates of steaming pancakes.

"Bon appetit!" Quatre said, grinning.

"All right!" Duo exclaimed, quickly claiming a tall stack. He slathered them with butter, doused them with maple syrup, and sprinkled ton of powdered sugar over the top. Cutting into them with his fork, he levered up a bite almost too big to fit in his mouth, stuffing it in with enthusiasm.

Conversation came to a screeching halt as Duo started coughing violently.

"Duo? Duo!" Heero, sitting next to him, leapt into action, quickly levering the smaller man up and administering the Heimlich maneuver.

Half-chewed pancake spilled all over the floor. Duo dropped from Heero's arms to his hands and knees, dry heaving as everyone looked on with various expressions of shock and worry on their faces. 

"Horrible.... That tasted even... worse... than the brisket... and the corn," he panted, recovering slowly. "What...is wrong...with me???"

"Errr...."

Everyone looked at Hilde, who seemed surprised she'd made the noise, and was now sitting like a deer in the headlights as everyone looked at her, waiting expectantly.

Duo wiped his mouth and stood up slowly, eyes narrowing.

"You..." he spat out. "It was you, wasn't it? You and Chang. All that whispering by the firelight. This is **_your_** fault."

"Ummm.... I plead the fifth?" Hilde said shakily, eyes shifting nervously.

"Stow it. I'll deal with you later," he said, turning on his heel and striding out of the hall.

"Hilde," Quatre said, tone sharp. "What did you do?"

\-----

That was when Duo went to confront Wufei. **_Of course_** the shaman had been meditating and **_of course_** he'd remained entirely unruffled by Duo's shouting.

Duo was seething and in no mood to return to his party, but knew he had to. Quatre and the others had gone to so much trouble, and he owed it to them to show back up. He decided, however, that circumstances being what they were, he was entitled to a little time out so he could cool his temper.

Duo slid on his helmet before smoothly mounting his motorcycle. Harley Davison of course - all American and loud as fuck.

Squeezing the clutch, Duo fired it up. Hearing the engine catch, he gently pushed in the choke, taking a deep breath to calm his simmering anger. He revved the engine, loudly, reveling in the echoing growl that reverberated through the alley behind Wufei's apartment complex. He imagined Wufei, startled out of his meditation by the sudden noise. Unlikely, but it would serve him right.

Sliding in to traffic, Duo opted for noise over speed, at least while he was still in the center of town – he'd gotten enough speeding tickets that year. He was heading for the coast, heart set on winding his way up Highway One, that beautiful state route hugging the California shoreline. On this particular stretch, the highway was at the top of some rather high cliffs, giving a gorgeous view over the pacific ocean.

Catching that first glimpse of blue waters, he started to breath easier. There was nothing quite like the ocean and his motorcycle when it came to soothing frazzled nerves, or in this case, his seething rage.

How could Wufei have done this? Over such a little thing? It was his birthday, and he'd quite been looking forward to spending his first one with the other man as his boyfriend, after years of hoping and waiting and being too scared to ask him out in case it somehow ruined the friendship between them. It was Wufei who had finally taken the initiative. Finding out that he had been interested in Duo for just as long had made the braided man's heart soar.

And now? Duo didn't know what to think.

Before long, Duo's mind quieted. He didn't know what was going to happen between him and Wufei, but it was time to go back to Quatre's. He owed it to him and the gang to at least pretend he was still happy about his birthday party.

\-----

The front door opened of it's own accord just as Duo was reaching for the handle. Quatre stood there, looking relieved but a little nervous.

Of course he'd known Duo was about to open the door. Kid could see the damn future.

"Quatre!" Duo grinned, trying hard not to look forced.

The blond seemed a little taken aback. Okay, maybe that was too much energy.

"Welcome back!" Quatre beamed, recovering quickly. "We're all out at the pool."

"Sweet! Let's do this!"

As Duo made his way through the foyer, Hilde stepped out in front of him, holding up a hand and looking desperate.

"Duo, I'm sorry! I didn't think it would be this bad, it's never–"

"Stow it," Duo said under his breath, glaring.

The witch's jaw snapped shut as he cut her off.

"I don't want to hear it. I'm here to enjoy what's left of my birthday, no thanks to you. If you're really sorry, go do whatever you have to do to make this end."

"Duo, I can't," Hilde said, looking miserable. "Wufei was the one to cast the spell. Only the caster can revoke it."

Duo pursed his lips.

"Fine. In that case, you're going to come with me to the pool, and you're going to act like you're having a good time, but if you so much as speak to me again today there will be hell to pay. Capiche?"

Hilde nodded.

"Good. Now get your ass in gear."

Hilde sprang ahead of him, eager to give him his space.

By the time Duo had put his swim trunks on and slathered himself with sunscreen, he was starting to feel better. Maybe he couldn't eat anything without choking on it, but all his best friends were here – barring Wufei and Sally.

When he got out to the pool, they'd erected a net and were playing volleyball, two versus two, with Zechs and Noin in the deep end and Heero and Trowa in the shallow. That was, until a point was scored and they switched sides.

Catherine had started approaching him as soon as he'd come out to the pool area.

"So what's with the switcheroo, Cathy?" he queried.

"Oh that? Apparently the shallow end has great advantages. Being able to push off from the bottom, not having to tread water. Neither side wanted their victory 'tainted because the other team was handicapped,' or whatever it was Zechs said."

"Who's winning?"

"I think my brother's team? I haven't been paying attention for a while. It's been at least an hour and the score is still only 5-4 or something. Dorothy can tell you, she's giving a play by play using the karaoke machine's microphone."

"Oh this I've gotta see," Duo grinned, striding over toward the platinum-haired witch.

Forty-five minutes later and the score was up to 6-7, Noin and Zechs leading. Dorothy had moved on from typical sports broadcaster speak to "See the sun glisten on those wet pecs as Trowa serves the ball" and "Noin must have thighs and calves for days! Who knew anyone could surge that far out of the water with just an eggbeater kick?"

"Hey Duo!" Quatre called from the doorway into the house, and everyone looked over.

"Surprise!" yelled Sally, holding up a deluxe triple chocolate cake studded with candles.

"Sally!! You made it!" Duo called, rushing over to her. "And you brought cake! Man, I could kiss you," he continued, forcing some semblance of a smile to his face.

"Don't you dare! She's mine!" Noin said as she pulled herself out of the deep end.

"Sheesh, just joking over here," Duo replied, grinning.

"I've only got a 30 minute lunch break from my shift at the ER and I've got about 12 minutes left before I've gotta book it so the time for cake is now!" Sally said.

"Oh... um... Well, Sally..." Duo started, only to be yanked aside by Noin.

"Don't you dare tell her anything," she muttered under her breath. "My wife is 24 hours into a 36 hour shift and she spent all day baking that cake before she went on duty. I know you're having issues with food right now but you _**will**_ eat some and you _**will**_ like it and we'll sort out this curse business or whatever later."

The grip on his wrist was tight enough to bruise as Noin glared daggers at him.

"Okay, okay, fine! I'll do this for Sally, but you're helping me retaliate against Wufei, deal?"

"Deal," she agreed.

They turned back to the group, who were hastily clearing towels from the poolside table. And there, looking cool as a cucumber, was Wufei, carrying paper plates and plastic forks out from the mansion.

Duo scowled, opening his mouth to say something when Noin hissed at him.

"Stuff it, Maxwell. _**After**_."

"Alright, alright, sheesh," Duo capitulated.

"Okay everyone, time to sing!" Sally said exuberantly as she lit the candles.

Infuriatingly, Wufei managed to seat himself right next to Duo. The necromancer clenched his teeth and did his level best to put a smile on his face as everyone sang "Happy Birthday."

"And many more~~~~" Dorothy warbled, holding the last note long past her ability to stay in tune.

"Okay, blow out the candles, Duo!" Sally insisted.

Duo dutifully complied, to the flash of several cell phone cameras.

"Who's got the cake cutter?" Sally asked.

"I do," Wufei said, and Duo nearly bit his tongue off clamping down his reply to _**that**_.

Slowly and precisely, Wufei cut a generous slice, then slid it carefully onto a paper plate and deposited it in front of Duo.

It smelled divine, and Duo's rebellious stomach growled loudly. He realized he hadn't eaten anything for a day and a half, and wondered if being starving would be enough to help him choke down what was sure to be a vile, vile slice of his very favorite cake in the world.

Wufei had finished passing cake around, and now everyone was waiting expectantly for the birthday boy to take the first bite.

Taking a deep breath, he cut a bite with the side of his fork and lifted it to his lips. Forcing his teeth apart, he shoved it in his mouth, trying to get it over with quickly.

He immediately had to clench down on his gag reflex. It tasted like putrefying flesh - and as a necromancer, Duo was intimately familiar with the smell of putrefying flesh. He'd just never actually tasted it before. It was even worse than the odor, and he definitely threw up a little in his mouth before he managed to swallow the disgusting thing.

He plastered a grin on his face.

"Delicious, Sally! You really shouldn't have!"

"I'm so glad you like it! Tell you what, you can have my slice too, I don't have time to eat it. Happy Birthday!" Sally said brightly, then grabbed her things and turned, hurrying off.

As soon as the door shut behind her, Duo twisted around and vomited onto the deck. 

Wufei looked shocked.

"Duo? Are you alright??" he asked, somewhat frantic.

Duo turned back to the table. Everyone else was perfectly quiet and still. He wiped his mouth with the back of his hand and _**looked**_ at the Chinese man.

"No, Wufei. I'm not alright," he said quietly, the calm before the storm. "It's my birthday, one of the few things all year that I actually look forward to, and because I teased you a little at the barbecue, you've put some sort of hex on me that makes food taste so disgusting that I almost choked eating pancakes this morning, and as you saw just now, it immediately triggers my upchuck reflex if I actually manage to swallow it. You've absolutely ruined my birthday!"

Wufei immediately turned to Hilde, who was sitting across the table, still looking miserable.

"Hilde, you said it would make food taste bad for a while, not that it would make him physically ill!" he yelled.

"I know!" Hilde yelled back, desperately. "Having a witch's spell cast by a shaman must have messed with the potency, or something. The instructions I gave you would never have caused this strong of a reaction!"

"Everyone!" Quatre insisted, standing up. "Stop this at once!" His quiet tone brooked no nonsense as he slowly and deliberately made eye contact with all three of them, staring them down until each looked away.

"Sniping at each other serves no purpose other to make us all more upset. Duo – It's clear that neither of them intended this to be nearly as severe as it's been. Hilde – you should have known better than to let another type of practitioner cast your spell. Everyone knows that can have unpredictable results."

"And Wufei," he said finally, turning to the rather contrite looking shaman. "You may have meant this in good fun, but you've pretty much ruined Duo's birthday. You owe him an apology, and, I think, some reparations. The two of you can discuss that in private."

"Everyone else," Quatre continued, glancing around the table. "Let's take our cake inside. These two need some alone time."

Once everyone had left, Duo finally looked at Wufei, who was staring at the ground. He honestly didn't know what to say, and decided to let the other man be the first to speak.

Eventually Wufei looked up, meeting Duo's gaze intently.

"I'm sorry. I owe you much more than just an apology, but that's what I have to give right now. I meant it as a practical joke. You're always pulling them, and I figured it was about time the tables were turned. Obviously I haven't got the knack. I... I was planning to lift the hex right after cake, honest, and I still will."

He hung his head again.

"What can I ever do to make this up to you?" he asked, pleadingly.

Duo sighed and thought for a minute. Quatre had knocked the wind out of his sails after his long rant. The damn man was right – this was obviously a prank gone wrong, with no malicious intentions behind it.

Duo reached up, lifting Wufei's chin with a finger so the dejected man would look him in the eyes again.

"It's okay. I mean, it's not okay, but it will be. I'm still pissed, but you obviously didn't mean it to go so far," he said tiredly.

"I... I appreciate your understanding," Wufei responded. "But what can I do to make this right?"

Duo smirked.

"You like to fast occasionally, if I'm not mistaken? Something about improving your constitution?" he asked.

"Yes..." Wufei replied, unsure where Duo was going with this.

"What's the longest you've ever fasted for?"

"A week. You want me to fast in order to say sorry?" Wufei asked.

"Oh no. You're not going to fast. Hilde is gonna put exactly the same hex on you that she told you about, except it'll be the strength you originally intended, so you'll be able to eat if you absolutely need to, you just won't WANT to. But that's your problem. And it's going to last for _**two**_ weeks. Oh, and whatever gift you got me for my birthday, you owe me another, even bigger and better gift, by the end of the month. No excuses."

Wufei's eyes widened. 

"Two weeks?" he asked. "Two weeks of everything tasting horrible and also another gift?" 

"Yes. And one last thing. Everything you do eat, you have to eat with your hands. No utensils, no chopsticks, hell, even no napkins. Messy, eat with your hands and lick it off your fingers food that tastes disgusting. And eating with your hands lasts a month," Duo intoned. 

"If that's what it'll take, I suppose that's only just," Wufei capitulated. 

"Now give me a birthday kiss, damnit!" Duo demanded. 

Wufei laughed. 

"Now that I can definitely do," he said, leaning in and kissing the other man deeply. 

"Happy Birthday, Duo. What's left of it, anyway." 

\-----

And that is the story of how Wufei discovered that hamburgers, hot dogs, ribs, and even sandwiches really did taste better when you ate them with you damn hands like a normal person.

**Author's Note:**

> Trowa cooking pancakes is definitely a reference to Remsyk's story Volunteer Work.
> 
> This is the first time I've ever written a gift fic and it was so much fun! Also my first 2x5, hopefully I did them justice.
> 
> As always, kudos and comments are welcomed with open arms!!


End file.
